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of the bedand seemed to try and fit themselves into Anna's
body. I stood to one sidewatchinginterested to see who would come
into the room next. Maryrose camea pretty blonde girlsmiling
politely. Then George Hounslowand Mrs. Boothbyand Jimmy. These
people stoppedlooked at Annaand moved on. I stood to one side
wondering: Which of them will she accept? Then I was conscious of
dangerfor Paul came inwho was deadand I saw his grave whimsical
smile as he bent over her. Then he dissolved into herand Iscreaming
with fearfought my way through a crowd of indifferent ghosts to the
bedto Annato myself. I fought to re-enter her. I was fighting against
colda terrible cold. My hands and legs were stiff with coldand Anna
was cold because she was filled with the dead Paul. I could see his cool
grave smile on Anna's face. After a strugglewhich was for my lifeI
slipped back into myself and lay coldcold. In my sleep I was in Mashopi
Page 1036
LessingDoris - The Golden Notebook.txt
disintegration because I could dream it. The dream faded in a lying pain
of nostalgia. I said to myself in my sleephold yourself togetheryou can
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