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Wysłany: Śro 3:17, 16 Mar 2011 Temat postu: Don't-let-your-Children-Manipulate-you-when-you-ar |
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Don抰 let your Children Manipulate you when you are Divorced
Children definitely are smarter than most of us give them credit for. They learn quickly what will annoy their parents as well as what will please them. Most parents are very worried about how their divorce is going to affect their children. As a result they may give their children too much leeway. Yet that can be something you don抰 want to do very often.
It may surprise you how many children learn to manipulate their parents after a divorce. Some parents have the attitude that their children would never do so,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but it is common. They may see it as a viable avenue to get their own way. Young children do it as well as older children. The difference is the way they go about it and what they are attempting to get out of the deal.
It is understandable why parents would fall for this though. After all,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], they don抰 want their children to be traumatized by what has taken place. They want to see their children happy and thriving in their environment. Make sure you are consistent with the rules you have set for your children though. They may come to you and say a later curfew or hanging out with friends without adult supervision makes them feel better. This is just a ploy to get you to let them do what they want to do.
You should expect your child to attempt to test the limits though. They may tell you they want to go live with their other parent when you don抰 give in to them. This is going to hurt you and they know it. Stand firm and tell them you are sorry they feel that way but that you are sticking by your decision. If you can work out similar rules at both homes with your ex this issue will be eliminated for both of you.
It is true that children can have conflicts in life that are a direct result of the divorce. For example your child may have drop in their grades or changes in their attitude. While you need to understand this,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], they need to know that the divorce isn抰 an excuse for letting things go. They still need to be doing their homework and they still need to be respecting you. They need to help out at home and do what is asked of them without problems.
Make sure you understand the difference between what your children need and when they are attempting to get one over on you. They may find your defenses are down after a divorce and use it to their benefit. Don抰 be too hard on your children if you find out this is what is going on. Let them know you are disappointed though and that they aren抰 going to be allowed to continue doing it.
One of the reasons why children are able to successfully manipulate their parents after a divorce is due to the parents feeling inadequate. They don抰 want to let their children down any more than they feel they already have. They also have a fear that their children won抰 love them as much as the other parent if they don抰 give in to their desires. That isn抰 the reality of it though.
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The Court of Appeal pointed out that R and F's submission in the county court was of overt, conscious racism, and it was not prepared to find that there had been unconscious discrimination.The decisionThe Court of Appeal said that, unlike the ordinary civil claim where the judge decides, on the claimant's evidence only, whether the claimant has made out a case, in this case the judge had had the benefit of the whole of the evidence. Despite the school's failure to comply with the statutory requirements, the judge had been entitled to find on the basis of all the evidence that R and F had not proved racial discrimination.
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