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Dołączył: 06 Kwi 2011
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Wysłany: Wto 8:33, 26 Kwi 2011 Temat postu: Anger Management How To Stay Calm Instead Of Losin |
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this describes you, then you need to recover control and stop yourself from impairing others. The first thing to do is to recognize that you are choosing your anger. What? Choosing my anger? Why in the earth would I do that? Well, there are several reasons people may choose anger. Let’s watch which one best describes you.
Some people use anger to threaten others and subsequently get what they want. In this way, the vexed human is skillful to control the behavior of others.
Some people use their anger as a way of getting care. If a person needs attention, it doesn’t always material whether that attention is assured or negate, at a time someone is noticing him or her.
Anger can also be used as a tactic to avoid responsibility. If a person doesn’t want to do something, anger can be a valid way to get out of it.
Similar to wanting attention, periodically people are sensibility small and insignificant and anger works to pump themselves up or provide bravery to do something scary.
And others use it as an feelingful unlock, many the same way a oppression cooker lets off steam. Anger has energy. When somebody is experiencing things that are frustrating, he or she may not be dealing with his or her anger. Instead of processing it, cognitively restructuring some faith systems or going out the energy physically, anger can provide a many needed loosen valve.
Do you recognize yourself in whichever of those scenarios? When you lose your temper, which one of these reasons best identifies what you are trying to achieve? Perhaps you have yet distinct reason. One thing I understand for sure is that you always behave in your best attempt to get something you want. Your behavior is never haphazard and it never “just happens" to you.
It’s a very subtle feud merely an major one yet. All action namely proactive. You do not choose a behavior for of something namely occurred outside of you. For example, I can memorize asking my youngest son apt clean his room. He said he would do it later―only later not came. So, I patiently inquired him a second time. Again, he said he’d do it later. This went aboard as most of the day. Finally, in exasperation, I lost my temper with him and yelled at him about cleaning his room.
The question is why did I get angry? Most people would say I got angry because my son wouldn’t do what I asked. However, the real reason is that I accustom my anger as my best attempt to get my son to clean his room. (Just for the disc, it didn’t work very well.)
Why am I making this seemingly meaningless distinction? Because once you transform conscious of the reasons you are choosing your behavior, then you can consciously choose to do something extra responsible and extra effective.
More responsible method you are getting your needs met without interfering with other people meeting theirs. Effective method it really works to get you what you really want.
When you use anger, it is not responsible because anger nearly forever interferes with the other person getting his or her needs met. You definitely have not only the right, but also the responsibility to get your needs met but not at the expense of someone another.
Underlying most causes for choosing anger, you are probably trying to improve an important relationship in your life. Anger will never work to do that. You may get the initial satisfaction of getting the additional person to do your commanding, but you have harmed something in the relationship.
You must make a proactive blueprint about what you are going to do instead of using anger. It should be something that has at fewest an equal accident of getting you what you want while patronizing others in their process of getting their own absences met.
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